Moving to a new country as a migrant is an exciting and often life-changing experience. The opportunity to build a new life, pursue a career, and integrate into a different culture is both thrilling and challenging. But one thing that’s not always talked about is how the expectations and commitments from family and friends back home can impact your career and overall success in your new environment.
These cultural and familial ties are essential—they keep us grounded, connected to our roots, and offer emotional support. However, they can also place demands on your time, money, and mental well-being, making it harder to focus on your new life and career abroad. So, how exactly do these overseas obligations affect migrants, and what can you do to find a balance between these commitments and your goals in your new country?
Let’s dive in!
1. Financial Commitments and Pressure
For many migrants, especially those from cultures with strong family ties, there is often an expectation to send money back home. Whether it’s for daily household expenses, medical bills, education, or supporting a family business, this financial pressure can be significant. While these remittances can be a source of pride, helping family members in need, it can also strain your finances and affect how quickly you’re able to build your own life and career in a new country.
How It Affects Your Career:
- Limited savings for your future: Constantly sending money home may leave you with limited funds for your own savings, investments, or career advancement opportunities, such as attending professional courses or networking events.
- Job choices: Some migrants may feel the need to take on multiple jobs or stay in higher-paying but less fulfilling roles just to meet these financial obligations.
What You Can Do About It:
- Set boundaries and budgets: Communicate openly with your family about what you can realistically contribute without jeopardising your own stability. Create a budget that allows you to support them while also saving for your own needs and goals.
- Invest in financial literacy: Learn about financial tools that can help you manage remittances more effectively, such as lower-cost money transfer services or savings plans that allow you to contribute in a sustainable way.
2. Cultural Expectations Around Success
In many cultures, success is often defined by specific milestones—getting a prestigious job, buying property, or attaining a certain social status. Families and communities may have set ideas of what “making it” looks like, and this can put pressure on migrants to meet those expectations, even if their own goals and desires are different.
How It Affects Your Career:
- Pressure to pursue a career you’re not passionate about: Family expectations can sometimes push migrants toward career paths that may not align with their own interests or talents.
- Stress and burnout: Constantly striving to meet cultural benchmarks of success can lead to high stress, burnout, and even dissatisfaction with your career.
What You Can Do About It:
- Redefine success on your own terms: Take the time to reflect on what success means to you. It could be career fulfilment, work-life balance, or personal growth. Once you’ve defined your version of success, share it with your family. They might be more understanding than you expect!
- Seek out a mentor: Connecting with someone in your new country who has faced similar pressures can help. A mentor can offer advice on how to manage family expectations while still building a career that is meaningful to you.
3. Time Commitments for Family Obligations
Migrants may also face time commitments from family back home. This could be in the form of constant calls for advice, support with paperwork or online applications, or even the expectation to visit frequently for family events. As heartwarming as it is to stay connected, it can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when trying to settle into a new country, learn the ropes at a new job, or simply adapt to a different culture.
How It Affects Your Career:
- Distraction and time management issues: Constant requests for your time can make it difficult to focus on your career or education.
- Emotional burden: Feeling guilty for not being able to fulfil every obligation can take an emotional toll, which can affect your motivation and mental well-being at work.
What You Can Do About It:
- Establish clear communication boundaries: Politely but firmly set boundaries with family and friends back home. Let them know when you’re available and when you need to focus on your career or personal life in your new country.
- Delegate responsibilities: If you’re always the go-to person for solving problems back home, see if there are other family members who can share these responsibilities. It might be time to encourage more independence back home to give you the space you need.
4. Cultural Guilt and Feeling Like an Outsider
Migrants often experience guilt for “leaving” their family behind or missing out on important cultural traditions and milestones. You might feel like you’re letting people down by not being present at family gatherings, weddings, or festivals. This guilt can weigh heavily on your mind, making it difficult to focus on your new life and career.
How It Affects Your Career:
- Lack of focus or motivation: If you’re constantly feeling torn between two worlds, it can be challenging to invest yourself fully in your work and career development.
- Social isolation: The feeling of being an outsider—both in your new country and back home—can lead to isolation, which might affect your performance and job satisfaction.
What You Can Do About It:
- Connect with communities in your new country: Finding cultural or community groups in your new country can help you maintain a sense of connection to your roots while adapting to your new life. These groups often provide support, advice, and even networking opportunities that can help in your career.
- Practice self-compassion: Recognise that moving abroad is a big step, and it’s okay to miss some things. Be kind to yourself and understand that you can’t be in two places at once. The better you settle in and grow in your new country, the more you’ll be able to give back to your family in the long run.
Conclusion: Finding Balance Between Two Worlds
As a migrant, it’s not easy to juggle the commitments and expectations from back home while also trying to build a successful career in a new country. The key is to find a balance that works for you. This means setting boundaries, redefining success, and prioritising your well-being. Remember, it’s okay to prioritise your own life and career goals—after all, the better you do for yourself, the more you can eventually give back to your loved ones.
Take small, thoughtful steps to manage the pressures from home without losing sight of your dreams. With time, understanding, and some self-care, you can thrive both in your new country and maintain meaningful connections with your family and culture back home.
